Hope & Renewal: Contents in the Overhead Bin May Have Shifted
With the Virus now having influenced us heavily for over a year, we are beginning, slowly, to think about the transition back to “normal life.” But what is the new normal? What parts of any past pandemic struggles are you ready to let go of? And what will you take with you as your Lessons Learned?
We can reinvent and renew ourselves. Who do you want to be?
I’m seeing the daffodils starting to pop and fill my yard with splashes of bright yellow and today, peak out under the snow. And there are definitely more robins bob, bob, bobbin’ as the cliché goes . . .
Spring is right around the corner, the vaccine is coming and I find myself deep in a “renewal process,” just like everyone else. But what are the new rules? How can I still stay safe and help keep others safe as well? It feels like I’ve been hibernating on many levels and now it is time to re-emerge.
I’ve been through all the phases: buying toilet paper and hand sanitizer, wiping down surfaces, washing my hands, cooking at home, learning about Zoom, applying for and collecting unemployment, washing my hands, worrying each time I cough or sniffle, enjoying more regular family Zoom meetings, quarantining, getting COVID tests, and washing my hands, again.
A few evenings ago, I attended a community storytelling series called “Stories From The Pandemic” (thehearth.com). In the breakout rooms I had a chance to reflect on and share what this time has meant to me. I realize I can now look back with a bit of nostalgia.
Nostalgia is good for the brain. Science writer Daniel H. Pink writes in his book, When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing: “The benefits of thinking fondly about the past are vast because nostalgia delivers two ingredients essential to well-being: a sense of meaning and a connection to others.”
“Nostalgia, research shows, can foster positive mood, protect against anxiety and stress, and boost creativity. It can heighten optimism, deepen empathy, and alleviate boredom. Nostalgia can even increase physiological feelings of comfort and warmth.”
Turns out that when we consider neuroscience, every memory we choose to “pick up” and talk about and then “put back” into our brain, encodes slightly differently each time. The emotional charge lessens and we can be more at peace. That’s why it’s good to “talk it out” or even as one can, “to cry it out.” Let the words and the tears flow!
Our memories settle in us differently if we take time to see them, explore them, expand them. They add to our perspective in a new and different way. We see the world differently.
I was explaining to a client the other day all the “moving parts” that we would be dealing with in his coaching package.
Thoughts
Emotions
Sensations
Perspective
Behaviors
From a talk about Pandemic Stages given by Dr. Zachary Green, psychologist at the UC San Diego.
My perspective has definitely changed this past year and I am thinking yours probably has too. We have collectively been on our roller coaster ride of COVID together and are now pulling into the very final phases. I remember listening to a webinar by a psychologist, Dr. Zachary Green from UC San Diego, as he described the wild ride and rhythms of Pandemic from a social perspective. I felt relieved to see where he thought we would end up, in a phase of Emergence and Renewal.
But what has shifted, what are the takeaways? For each person they will be different. Here are a few of my “Lessons Learned.”
Family is my foundation.
Having regular family meetings on Zoom created a reassuring rhythm for our family, even though we live all the way across the country from one another. Seeing cats and dogs on our screens was a plus.
My coaching work with other bi-coastal families to teach them how to have Zoom meetings and pull closer together gave me hope that others also wanted family closeness.
Having extended family visits as my daughters “worked from home” even in their own time zones, was unexpected. One daughter stayed for six weeks in the summertime with her boyfriend. And both daughters were here for three full weeks during the Christmas holidays.
Experiencing the loss of some previously close family relationships —a kind of “family divorce.” It was jarring and took a lot of emotional energy but now that “the papers have been signed” I am still standing. I know things that I once thought could never change do change. It’s okay to re-set.
I am resilient: I find beauty/positive moments and sources even during uncertainty.
Walking nearby and seeing the beauty of nature and the ducks taking flight along with the hoot of the owls was a saving grace.
Admiring the creativity of people online, especially at the beginning of the Pandemic, and later as my husband discovered TikTok, was heart-warming. My favorite song from this time is still Andra Tuto Bene by Cristóvan.
Enjoying the simple things like walks with the dog (and the cats), a cup of coffee, cooking nourishing food at home, and watching Netflix with my husband in the evenings.
I can let go of struggle and negative bias.
Letting go of “driving” myself 24/7 to produce.
Letting go of some of the closeness of some past friendships and fondly remembering those moments when we could in person (and even hug!).
Letting go of doing intense trainings that are hard on me in terms of my physiology and emotional wellbeing.
Letting go of who I was before the age of 60 and accepting who I am now.
Letting go of the fear of breast cancer and dying like my mother did, a few months after her 61st bday.
I am a Creature of Habit and I can change my habits.
Taking 27-minute naps (and even longer naps too) as I work from home.
Working out more consistently with Adriene (we do yoga together) and Coach B of Nike Run Club.
Accepting where I am with my weight, having lost and regained the same 15 pounds in different ways at different ages. Turns out I feel more encouraged by loving myself than hating myself and my body; go figure.
I am a life-long learner.
Getting to know a Mexican-American family by helping them after the Almeda fire through an organization called heartrising.org; rebuilding community in new ways.
Learning Spanish over Zoom with a teacher in Guatemala for $7/hour and embracing new culture.
Zoom, Zoom, Zooming—giving and taking classes, circles, workshops and webinars online. Who knew the world was so small?
There has been much learning overall during COVID and each of us will have different takeaways. I wonder how we will all relate to one another now, with slow-to-build confidence and hopefully more compassion.
As we move forward we will begin to see how we’ve changed and grown. What contents in the overhead bin may have shifted for you? For all of us who have survived, we can keep becoming aware of who we really are and continue to learn who we truly want to be.
Where do you want to go next in your life? How you relate to your future depends on you.
